Hello all my Little Dee's, I have decided to take some time out of every Monday evening and tell you all of Mamma's adventures from the past week. Thus giving these Monday's the title of Mamma's Monday!
So today I started my first day at that hell hole known to everyone as Wal-Mart. Lets just say it was interesting. I hobbled in at 4:30 AM for my first shift. Since I'm new, those idiots decided to give me a shift at the butt crack of dawn!! So as I entered those sliding doors, I took the first step into my new life...wearing worn out bunny slippers. I guess those slippers weren't as good on wet floors as I thought, cause suddenly I realized I was on the ground in the frozen food aisle. Some man who looked liked Honey Boo Boo's mom helped me up off my butt.
Next they showed me my register, lucky number 13. As the manager started to show me how to use it, I suddenly noticed that I had no idea what he was saying. So I asked him to repeat that again. After a half hour of wasted time, I found out he didn't speak English!!! WAL-MART IS HIRING IDIOTS WHO CAN'T EVEN TALK TO THE CUSTOMERS!!!! I was so angry that I pulled a cigarette out of my purse and started to light it. While smoking it in the store, Dakshi, the Indian manager, started to jump around screaming something in Indian. I jumped to the ground thinking that a suicide bomber was about to blow our brains out. Then Dakshi pulled something out of his pocket that looked like a bomb!!! What happened next went by so quickly, that I couldn't make any decisions and ended up acting out of pure instinct.
I jumped at Dakshi and knocked him to the floor, biting his hand. After a few minutes of struggling, he finally dropped it. Only it wasn't a bomb, but a phone and he wasn't screaming in horror, he was just trying to tell me to put out my cigarette...
Lets just say that my first day was spent in the Emergency Room with my manager who can't speak english. Don't you just love Wal-Mart?
Love,
Mamma Dee
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