Mamma's Monday: The Zombie Apocalypse

Hello all my Little Dee's,

I am finally out of my cast.  It took a long time, but I am back on my feet doing what I do best, annoying the crap out of everyone!!

Now that my foot has healed, I began packing.  Not for a trip to visit relatives or go play bingo, but a trip to survive the Zombie Apocalypse.  That's right, I am getting ready for December 21st, the day most of the world will become mindless zombies and kill all of the survivors.  I plan on surviving through this and I want to help you too. Here are a few necessities for one to have during a Zombie Apocalypse:

Shotgun-How else are you supposed to fend off zombies?  BLOW THEIR HEADS OFF!!!!!!!!  It's a good thing I have a lot of practice from Halloween when those ridiculous tricker treateres stop by...

Cat Food-I do not want to live through the apocalypse by myself!!!  So I plan on putting cat food out to catch the stray cats and keep them as my personal pets.  Then I'll train them to attack zombies.  I will raise an army this way and save the human race.  Look out zombies, this fat old lady will kill you all with an army of tiny little fluff balls.

Cigarettes-Yes, I know people are dying all around me but I do need to relax sometimes.  I feel like I would need to unwind a bit after a long hard day of training kittens and killing zombies.

I hope these tips help you all to survive the upcoming Apocalypse!!!  I need to go now.  I have Karate classes to further help me kick some zombie butt.

Love,
Mamma Dee